i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
