i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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