Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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