What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
