Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
