Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
