Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
