why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
