After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
