You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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