so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
