Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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