Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
