Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
