last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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