Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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