Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
