You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think my moral compass just broke
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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