TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
