I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
