After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
