he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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