You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
