New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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