Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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