I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
