and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
