he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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