omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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