i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
