Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
