The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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