You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
