you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
