i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
