did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
