hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
