Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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