we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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