I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
