So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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