I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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