Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
