we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
