i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
