how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
