Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
