Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
