two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
