some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
