you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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