Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
