does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
