she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
