I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
