Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
